Welcome Home, Sasha!
Dear Sasha (pictured right),
It's good to have you back! We're so sorry you had an accident (people really should pay more attention when they are driving), but we're glad to have you back in all of your restored beauty. Truthfully, your bumper was getting a little faded (I didn't want to tell you before), so I guess things turned out well. Plus, it created the perfect opportunity to get your new windshield installed (15 rock chips & one really large crack later).
Sasha, I would like to express my thanks for watching out for my wonderful wife during the accident. That was so kind of you to take the impact for her (she is actually feeling quite well). You'll have to give our regards to your skillful creators back home at Saturn.
Sadly, I must admit that while you were gone, we did employ the services of one Eric the Avenger (pictured left). Have no fear, we were not at all tempted by his sporty appearance (afterall, we're not that into smokers). Yes, it is true that Eric had satellite radio, but I did not let him tempt me. Besides, you're sound system is way better. Don't worry, you never really had anything to fear - we remained faithful through it all!
Ellie greatly missed you during your absence and asked about you frequently.
Once again, it's great to have you back. Here's to many more years and another 100K miles or two!
Your friend & humble oil changer,
Michael